A group of friends are discussing the most significant development in the last two hundred years.One person says, “I think the computer is the most significant. We can’t live without them.”Another friend says, “I don’t agree. Antibiotics is the answer.”Yet another person says, “No, the most significant development in the last two hundred years is the light globe because computers, cars and planes couldn’t operate without a light globe. We cannot live without the light globe.”Knowing how to give your opinion is crucial to getting your point of view known and accepted.Giving an opinion is an excellent way to interact with people in formal and informal settings. However, there are some aspects to think about whether you will give an opinion or not.
Anyone who thinks the art of conversation is dead ought to tell a child to go to bed. Robert C. GallagherHow true is this quote! Many children engage in a continuous conversation when it is bed time, in an attempt to not go to bed.Do you know someone who reels out a monologue to their listeners, and doesn’t realise a conversation requires dialogue? A garrulous person doesn’t just like to talk, they indulge in talking for talking’s sake. Some people cannot keep quiet and others remain silent. On the other hand, we all know someone who has the knack for good conversation. They have a manner which can set a stranger at ease.There are some guidelines or reminders for engaging in conversation. The obvious ones include being attentive, actively listening, having some talking topics ready, tailoring your contribution to your listener, taking your turn to speak and thinking before you speak. However, there are some other tools you can use to have an effective conversation and one that maximises the contribution and enjoyment by anyone present.
Some people say conversation is a dying art as we spend so much time looking at screens and because the growth of social media is about broadcasting ‘me, me, me’.Conversation is simply talking to someone, usually informally. It should be enjoyable and fulfilling. Do you want to remove shyness and be the charming authentic you? You can. Conversation skills can be learnt.Conversation is the balance between listening and talking for all those participating. It is not a conversation if one person is hogging all the time with their monologue. Practise the following skills and seriously consider the additional tips to improve your conversations.
Have you ever known people who immediately connect with others? It doesn’t matter who they meet, they create mutual understanding and trust. These people seem to have a natural ability. However, anyone can learn the skills of rapport and nurture them.What is rapport?It is the establishment of two-way connections by forming a meaningful harmonious relationship between people based on mutual understanding of trust and agreement. It basically is an emotional connection with other people.It is usually based on shared experiences, points of view and shared humour.Everyone can benefit from having rapport with others. Whether with colleagues, friends, families, within the community or as a customer, building rapport is important in our personal lives.When you first meet someone new, you start to build rapport. Small talk will help you find things in common and build a shared bond. It is much easier to build rapport with someone who is very like you, or who shares common interests.Employers are more likely to employ someone whom they think will fit in well with their other staff. Personal relationships are easier to make and develop when there is a close connection between people.
How can you speak confidently?Speaking confidently can be achieved by using techniques which create a dynamic message. However, the most important thing to remember is to fully know and understand what you are saying, and why you are saying it.
A monotone delivery, low energy, speaking softly and mumbling are not enjoyed by anyone. Your voice has the power to completely change what others think of you. You can choose to be the authentic you.
In 2009 when Susan Boyle performed on Britain’s Got Talent, she surpassed preconceived notions of what a good singer is supposed to look like. Her voice created a personal brand that has become well-known.
This is the fourth in a series of 2020 blogs on confidence.
The main techniques when using your voice are speech clarity, creating word pictures, voice projection, pace, pitch, pausing and inflection.
When public speaking, to one or two people, or to a larger audience, the same techniques can be used.
This is the third 2020 blog on building confidence. The February blog was titled How to Appear Confident and the March blog, The Importance of Saying Your Name Confidently.Do you feel nervous when presenting in public? We can all feel this, however, a little nervous tension can enhance your performance. Yet, on the other hand, too much nervousness can spoil a performance.Nervousness is a result of fear – fear of failure, shyness, making an error, memory lapse, looking incompetent or foolish. Sometimes the audience doesn’t know how you are feeling. Other times the audience will know you are nervous because of your physical symptoms such a ‘red neck flush’, breathlessness or sweating. Behaviour can also be a clue that you have nervous tension. Looking at the ceiling or floor, speaking too fast and looking uncomfortable at the lectern are recognisable by an audience.There are several strategies to reduce your nervousness and develop your confidence.
Continue reading for more important strategies.
When you say your name, how do you say it? Do you use a soft-spoken voice? Or are you loud and proud?It doesn’t matter if you are meeting someone for the first time, leaving a message on the telephone or introducing yourself to a group of people. How you say your name says a lot about you. Say your name meekly and you appear shy. Say your name too strongly and too loud, you may appear arrogant or over-confident or demanding.First, let us look at some facts about names. Names are carefully chosen by parents and sometimes pass from generation to generation. Some women choose to proudly take on the name of their partner or name their children with the partner’s surname. Names can have special meanings, depending on the cultural meaning. They are more than a jumble of letters. The name chosen for you tends to be special for you, and maybe a nickname or shortened version is a term of endearment or inclusion.Dale Carnegie, an American writer, lecturer and public speaker, once said
“A person’s name is to him or her, the sweetest and most important sound in any language.”Tone is the key to confidence. Introduce yourself with confidence. Ideally, you would like other people to say your name correctly and remember it.It is usual to hear people say “I’m . . .”, or “My name is . . .”. Sometimes you hear “My name’s”, contracting “name” and “is”.“I’m”, and not “I am”, usually used because it is brief and is part of our spoken language compared to the written word. Using the short version “I’m” allows the emphasis to be placed on the name which is the important part of the sentence.Here are examples:
Hi. I’m Sue Smith. Hello, I’m Pam Spencer
I’m Rachel Holding Hi everyone. I’m Alison Wong
Hi, my name is Marnie Stuart is an example of someone saying. "My name is,” Using an example of the contracted name is My name’s Heidi Green
Do you sometimes feel nervous and not confident?
Does a lack of confidence affect your life and career?
Often negative feedback or personal experiences contribute to the lack of confidence feelings.Over the coming few months Speaking Made Easy is going to provide you with some ways to build your confidence.First, learn how to appear more confident and actually feel confident.
Looking more confident will assist you to get a better job, maintain healthy relationships and deeper connections with people. Empowering yourself will directly help you reach your goals.
Being prepared and appearing confident will have a positive impact on the people you are meeting and any audience you may be facing. It will also improve your self-confidence.
Do you think you are public speaking if you are talking to one or two people? Perhaps you are speaking to five to ten people. Or do you need to have 20, 50 or 100 in the audience to consider being a public speaker?When talking to others, whatever the number of people, you are public speaking. You are speaking to another member of the public.Some people lack confidence to speak up and speak out when standing in front of a large crowd. Others find they don’t have the skills and/or confidence required for conversations.Many seem to make conversation look easy. We all know someone who is a non-stop talker. Watch politicians manipulate and direct conversations. Often we can have a good conversation on topics which are familiar such as personal matters, interests, hobbies and work-related subjects. Conversations can be easier with people we are close to or love.
How confident are you if you’re asked to say a few words at a social occasion?
Many of us are not confident and shy away from standing in front of an audience.Whether you are speaking in front of teenagers, attendees at a 21st birthday, black tie dinner for an award ceremony, or presenting a eulogy for a departed friend, the recipe is the same as for any other speech.Begin with an opening which immediately commands attention. Develop the body in a logical sequence and conclude with an ending that leaves them laughing, crying, or both.As you know, there are various social speeches and some of the common ones are discussed below.