Art of Conversation, Talking

The Art of Conversation

Conversation Skills – Part Two

Anyone who thinks the art of conversation is dead ought to tell a child to go to bed.   Robert C. Gallagher

How true is this quote! Many children engage in a continuous conversation when it is bed time, in an attempt to not go to bed.

Do you know someone who reels out a monologue to their listeners, and doesn’t realise a conversation requires dialogue? A garrulous person doesn’t just like to talk, they indulge in talking for talking’s sake. Some people cannot keep quiet and others remain silent. On the other hand, we all know someone who has the knack for good conversation. They have a manner which can set a stranger at ease.

There are some guidelines or reminders for engaging in conversation. The obvious ones include being attentive, actively listening, having some talking topics ready, tailoring your contribution to your listener, taking your turn to speak and thinking before you speak. However, there are some other tools you can use to have an effective conversation and one that maximises the contribution and enjoyment by anyone present.

Here are some other recommendations:-

Ask open-ended questions.

These are questions which cannot be answered with a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ response. Such questions allow the respondent to include more information, feelings, attitudes and show understanding of the topic.

Clarify

Ask the person to clarify what they have just said so you have a greater understanding. The respondent can then give a simpler explanation and/or more information. Alternatively, you can paraphrase what the person has said in your own words and then ask, ”Is that what you are saying/meaning?”          To be certain you have heard exactly what is said, you can repeat what was said. This is often called parroting.

Acknowledge

Show you are willing to accept a different perspective. Use phrases such as:

I can see your point, however . . .

That’s a good point, but . . .

I see what you’re getting at, however . . .

I can see what you are saying,  but . . .

I can understand where you are coming from, however . . .

I would feel the same in your situation, however, we can sort this out by . . .

I know how frustrating it can be – let’s . . .

Invite input

Encourage the other person, or persons, to contribute to the conversation. This can be done by saying phrases like:

What do you think?

Is this the same for you?

What do you like?

What would you suggest?

Why is that so?

How do you know . . . ?

Sensitivity

When speaking, think of the emotions and possible implications you may create when talking to others.  Be careful to not imply negative conclusions. We all come from different backgrounds and circumstances. Tread softly if you don’t know the person well or know they may feel vulnerable to what can be said.

Validate

Validation can mean several things. In a conversation you may need to validate the other person’s feelings so they feel understood and/or that you are supporting them. For example, “No, you are not worrying over nothing. You have a very good reason to worry about your problem.”

You may need to support someone you has provided information. For example, “I have also seen evidence of this happening, and I agree that the steps you are taking are correct.”

Compromise

Be willing to compromise. Compromising is coming to an agreement, usually with all parties making concessions. It may be choosing a film which suits everybody. Perhaps you want to stay out till 11.00pm and your friend wants to stay out till 1.00am. Midnight would be a compromise. There may have to be a settlement of a dispute with concessions made to reach a compromise.

 Conciliation

This is taking action or ending the process of a disagreement or hostility. To conciliate means to become agreeable or reconcile. To do this you will probably need to apologise.  Maybe you will need to self-disclose, concede, take responsibility and express positive feelings to initiate that all parties gain.

Gratitude

Show gratitude as often as you can. Some phrases you can use are:

I’m deeply grateful to you for . . .

I sincerely appreciate . . .

I value the time, effort and work that (name) has done for . . .

Special thanks to . . .

Thank you for . . .

Practise these aspects of conversation to improve your conversations.  Conversations should be fun.

Click link   How’s Your Day Going?  blog. Conversation Skills – Part One

To put these tips into practice, click here to find a Group near you

Appreciative of any size donations.

17 Replies to “The Art of Conversation”

  1. If you would like to obtain a great deal from this piece of writing then you have to apply these strategies to your won webpage.| Miquela Brett Trisa

  2. Asking questions are genuinely nice thing if you are not understanding anything totally, but this paragraph offers fastidious understanding even. Emlynn Arron Rinee

  3. An interesting dialogue is value comment. I believe that you need to write extra on this topic, it may not be a taboo subject however generally persons are not enough to speak on such topics. To the next. Cheers Cathrin Enos Alicea

  4. This is a very good tip especially to those fresh to the blogosphere. Simple but very accurate information?Thanks for sharing this one. A must read post! Anabal Davie Marji

  5. I am not sure where you are getting your info, but good topic. I needs to spend some time learning much more or understanding more. Thanks for wonderful information I was looking for this info for my mission.| Analiese Clarance Brenton

    1. Hi Torrent

      There is another blog on our site about conversation titled Conversation Secrets

      Cheers Shirl

  6. I love this write up thank you. I am a friend of Nada and she shared your site with our group. I just took a shaman course and without realizing it have been on a path slowly leading me into Shaman work. I am not sure how to see it all and use what I am learning but your message really helped me to put a lot of the missing pieces together, thank you and Namaste Beautiful message <3 Norah Baxie Danica

  7. Good post. I learn something new and challenging on blogs I stumbleupon everyday. It will always be helpful to read through articles from other writers and use a little something from their web sites. Evelina Nobie Jac

  8. I think other site proprietors should take this web site as an model, very clean and wonderful user genial style and design, as well as the content. You are an expert in this topic! Bette-Ann Em Moreno

  9. I’m amazed, I must say. Rarely do I come across a blog that’s
    both educative and amusing,
    and let me tell you, you have hit the nail on the head.
    The issue is something not
    enough folks are speaking intelligently about.
    Now I’m very happy that I found this during my hunt for something regarding this.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *